Hoofprints & Headaches (Chapter 4)

Diary of A Horse Dad.

CHAPTER 4 - Vol 1

"Big Boy Eventing!" 

Well, they come thick and fast, don’t they? One minute you’re at home unloading the car from last weekend’s event wondering how you’re going to get Saracen Recovery Mash – Banana flavours out your coat and next you’re loading the car up for this weekend’s event realising you never actually washed the horse mash out my coat from last weekend! But, anyway, we head on to the next round of events and this time to one of our favourites, Kelsall Hill International Horse Trials.

Preparation for horse trials are... intense. Not because I do anything with the horses but mainly because I turn up having zero clue as to what is happening whilst watching the amazing Tessa and Kristina get the boys ready in their majestic art form – it really is captivating. This weekend we had an army of a team; we could have formed a small battalion. We even had “Wreck it Ralph” join us for the weekend which is always a joy yet anxiety ridden time as you never quite know what mood he is going to be in. Plus, the weather is continually changing so much I didn’t know if I needed a waterproof coat, gloves or shorts – maybe I should do a “Get Ready with Me” like they do on TikTok. No? Ok. Well, anyway, I have learned rather quickly that being an eventing horse dad is a whole new level of organisation! So off we trot.

The Dressage Drama (or opinion!):

Dressage. Hmm… I would describe dressage as one of the most confusing things I have ever had to watch. The horse ballet as I refer to it as, which can possibly be resembled to synchronised swimming only Kristina is doing it with a half-tonne partner who occasionally decides to have an opinion and offer some freestyle moves in the form of “damn girl, look at me, buck buck, tail swish, land…. Ta Da!!” Although, the judge proceeds to shake their head…

Now I claim to no nothing of the sort, but both the Juela & Roscoe did beautiful tests. Roscoe perhaps doing his best test of his horse ballet career. He looked mega. Everyone super happy with his performance. Did the judges think so? No, they did not! He had done lovely and so welcome to my first interaction and frustration with opinion-based judgement in the PVC arena.

The Thrill of Show Jumping:

Next up was show jumping. Something not opinion based as you get marked down if the pole hits the floor, not if you don’t like the horse, sounds easy to be honest. This was where my heart rate really starts to climb! Are they going to knock a pole? Are they going to clatter the uprights? Are they going to buck and take out another horse? You know the horses can jump these heights in their sleep, but you don’t want them to be lazy, you want them to dazzle and enjoy being a bird. Each jump always feels like a mini-drama – is he isn’t he going to clip it or clear it. Name for a podcast maybe? The twists, the turns the lift offs. It has it all. Juela had one show pole down and Roscoe had two because he always wants to do things bigger – we had words. But a good round and then we head to their favourite element, with my wife’s anxiety through the roof, and me and Ralph asking if she can stand on her own so she doesn’t stress us out but still proceeding to ask the horses “are you ok” like they’re going to turn around and say “you know what mum, I’m not…” but we head to the cross country phase, the test of stamina, grit, determination, twists, turns, style and running like there’s a 75% sale off at Flannels!

Cross Country: The Ultimate Test:

Cross country is a spectacle of excitement, the courage, the sheer brilliance. The commitment to jump, run and power through grounds of scenic beauty. The course is challenging, I mean it should, it’s across the country! Well not quite but watching the horses navigate the course with Kristina in the pilot’s chair it is always incredible – I have huge admirations for anyone tackling cross country! You guys are fearless!

We had a fantastic day out. It was sunny and the company was great. Lots of scope for improvement but all the horses worked their socks off. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my little recap of me navigating another horse trial. If you're new to eventing or thinking about attending an event, I highly recommend it. It's a fantastic sport with an incredible community.

Got any tips for a new eventing horse dad? Share them with me!